Modern times appear to have left behind the horrific rituals of the past. Yet some traditions merely change their names, refine their forms, and return to the stage. Sati once came to life through the throwing of women into funeral pyres; today, women continue this tradition by silently and often unconsciously erasing their own selves. In this article, I will analyze this modern form of annihilation, which I call “Cosmetic Sati,” by connecting it both to its historical roots and to the contemporary crises of women’s existence.
Classical Sati: The Burning Form of Loyalty
Sati was a historical practice in India whereby a Hindu widow voluntarily burns alive on her dead husband’s funeral pyre. Sati is not merely an individual suicide, but a dramatic and striking symbol of the male-dominated ideology disguised as sacrifice, nullification, invisibility, and loyalty that has been imposed on women’s identity throughout history. Woman is merely a spouse, an object, a memory. The withdrawal of the woman from the world of the deceased man is a collective declaration that woman is not a world unto herself. This female figure, whose existence is only possible through another’s existence, is metaphysically non-existent.
This is not a ritual unique to India either. In different parts of the world, values such as spousal loyalty and sacrifice are sanctified with discourses that legitimize the erasure of women from life. Woman’s existence gains meaning by being identified with man’s death or decisions, and this glorification is reinforced by societal approval of women’s obedience. The understanding that “a man’s word is bond, a woman’s fate is shroud” is a proverbial expression of this mentality.
Cosmetic Sati: Perfumed Annihilation
Today this ritual is repeated with a different aesthetic framework, re-enacted every day. Perhaps a woman no longer jumps into a funeral pyre, but every day she stands in front of the makeup mirror and begins to turn to ash. There, she looks not at herself but at an image distanced from her selfhood. Her reflection in the mirror represents not her own being, but an “ideal” shaped according to the approval of society and especially the male gaze. Slogans under the guise of freedom like “dress for yourself” are actually elegant masks of internalized control. Every choice, though seemingly personal, takes place within the boundaries drawn by algorithms, aesthetic norms, and digital media filters.
In the digital world, every share, every pose, every aesthetic touch weakens a woman’s connection with her inner voice a little more. Modern woman, in order to say “I am here,” must first silence, even forget, the question “Who was I?” Because the way to prove one’s existence now passes not through internal construction, but through setting up an external showcase.
This “Cosmetic Sati” is the silent withdrawal of the soul for the sake of bodily beauty; it is a kind of noiseless, glittering suicide. Internal existence has been sacrificed for external approval; woman’s visibility springs not from her own essence but from the light arrangement offered by algorithms. Thus woman has come to live not to be herself, but to be someone worth being seen.
Love, Loyalty, and Dissolution
Modern woman still recognizes love in Sati’s mirror. The beloved’s pleasures, his environment, his preferences transform into invisible molds that shape woman’s own being. The romanticism of “I would do anything for you” is a narrative of a rented body where women’s state of being subjects is destroyed, where identity is transferred to another. Without doubt, this too is a Sati: This time the fire burns within love, and woman turns to ash while trying to keep the relationship alive by erasing her own boundaries.
The number of women who say “I lost myself” after breakups are the crowded witnesses of this invisible ritual. There is no ceremony nor burning logs, but the lost essence is the same. A silent internal burial, an invisible annihilation is experienced.
The Aesthetics of Obedience: New Colonization in the Female Body
Capitalism commodifies a woman’s body by placing it in an invisible showcase. This body, shaped by aesthetic concerns, must constantly be reshaped: it must be slimmed, thickened, rejuvenated, reinvented, perhaps even redefined. Every intervention, though presented as a declaration of “free will,” is actually the aesthetically coated impositions of the male-dominated system. This is the modern, made-up version of Sati.
This time, woman steps not into sacred fire, but into the light of halogen lamps, camera flashes, TikTok filters. She must burn in order to shine. But this burning is invisible because it is internal. From the outside, it appears as sparkle, self-confidence, and “self-expression.” Yet inside, an erosion of essence is taking place. Woman presents her own existence by dissolving it in stage lights. Though it appears voluntary, this ritual is as systematic and encompassing as the others.
Reconstruction of Existence: Is It Possible to Escape from Sati?
For women living in this age, the real revolution is to rebuild “selfhood,” that is, to become “xwebûn” (self-existence). It is to construct a form of existence that feeds not on the shadow of another being, but on one’s own experiences, desires, pain, and boundaries. Liberation means abandoning not only institutions equipped with male-dominated mentality, but also internalized forms of obedience and voluntary annihilation patterns passed down from generation to generation.
Women must redefine love, body, motherhood, and visibility. Otherwise, each new generation repeats only a form-changed version of Sati. Algorithms replace fire, filters replace chains. But essentially, it is still woman’s self that burns.
The way to transcend Cosmetic Sati is not to be “visible,” but to be able to “exist” beyond being seen. Women should seek ways to see themselves not in mirrors, but in writing, in production, in relationships, in political struggle, in resistance and rebellion. Real revolution becomes possible not by being articulated to another being, but when one can be a world unto oneself. Because this is why the women’s revolution takes root most in the claim of “existence,” not “visibility.” This claim grows before internal mirrors, not makeup mirrors.
Living Without Burning…
Sati may have become history in the physical sense. But its shadow continues to wander today in women’s decisions, relationships, body perceptions, workplace behaviors, and digital media strategies. The fire has not been extinguished; it has only changed form. Behind every light that now seems not to burn, that old burning is still hidden.
But this time, before every fire, there is a woman’s consciousness quietly rising from the ashes. This consciousness begins by asking the question “Who am I?” again and stubbornly. A consciousness that questions, redefines itself, leans its own essence not on another’s approval but on its own truth, on becoming xwebûn.
It is possible to rise from the ashes. And more importantly, it is possible to live without burning.
And perhaps the most radical sentence for women of this age is now this:
I AM LOYAL TO MY OWN EXISTENCE…