On beautiful men and love for the women’s revolution

First published: https://kurdistan-report.de/von-schoenen-maennern-undder-liebe-fuer-die-frauenrevolution/

“Killing the man is the basic principle of socialism,” said Abdullah Öcalan in 1996. The following article sheds light on the background of this provocative thesis and explains how the Kurdistan Freedom Movement analyzes patriarchal masculinity and why the development of a free masculinity is a fundamental part of the women’s revolution.

“Do you think men can change and free themselves from patriarchy? And if so, what does it take?” This was one of the 7 questions we asked each other in group interviews at our last Jineolojî educational weekend, which was attended mainly by mothers. The answers varied widely: from “if they are organized in the movement, then yes” to “write: at most 20%”.

The women’s movement of Kurdistan has been organizing itself in the diaspora for many years, with women’s councils, co-chair system, education, campaigns against violence against women and struggles for freedom at all levels. Many changes have been achieved – and yet there are always difficulties with patriarchal structures. From sexist approaches in political organizing, disputes over decisions by women’s councils or problems in realizing the co-chair system, to physical and psychological violence in families and other relationships. No matter in which society, culture, subculture or organization, patriarchy shows its effects everywhere. In the current phase of the strengthening of fascist ideologies, classic, aggressive, sexist masculinities are also becoming more visible again and providing orientation for young men. This development is also reflected in the rise in the number of feminicides that can be seen worldwide. But even in progressive democratic surroundings, where men have begun to develop an awareness of patriarchy and their own role in it, sexism and violence often only appear under different masks. If we really want a free society, we need to understand patriarchy as the complex system of domination that it is. What effects does patriarchy have through the colonization of life, thought, bodies and forms of relationships? And how can we transform the mentalities it has produced? The Kurdistan Freedom Movement, and the women’s movement in particular, is committed to this transformation, inspiring feminist movements, women and societies worldwide.

If women are not free, society cannot be free

“If women are not free, society cannot be free,” says Abdullah Öcalan. This thesis is linked to a long history, many struggles, analyses, philosophical reflections and lived experiences of the Kurdistan Freedom Movement, from which the slogan “Jin Jiyan Azadî” also emerged. As early as the 1980s, Öcalan and the comrades of the freedom movement, on the basis of the anti-colonial liberation struggle, discussed their analyses of the role of the family in Kurdish society, of gender roles and how these are shaped by the nation state, religion, colonialism, class, feudal structures and Kemalist policies. At a similar time, the sociologist and feminist activist Maria Mies referred to women in patriarchal societies as the “first colonized” and showed the connection between colonial exploitation and the exploitation of women. Öcalan analyzes Kurdish and Middle Eastern society in particular in this regard and speaks of women as the “first and last colony”. With regard to gender relations, he states: “We are confronted with a contradiction that goes far beyond class”. In the years that followed, this contradiction became more tangible through historical and social analyses of the emergence of patriarchy and the system of dominant masculinity. In the book “Woman and Family in Kurdistan”, published in 1987, Abdullah Öcalan wrote down these analyses and defined the patriarchal family as the stem cell of the state. The dominant man, who for his part is also oppressed in the colonial system, exercises his power over women and children like a dictator over society. The liberation of the country from colonization is closely linked to the liberation of women. For a free society, the masculinity and classic femininity shaped by the system must be overcome.

With the popularity and natural authority that Abdullah Öcalan gained in Kurdish society, he paved the way for criticism of the prevailing patriarchal gender order to become known and recognized in large parts of society. Revolutionaries such as Sakine Cansiz (Sara), Gurbet Aydın (Mizgin) and Binevş Agal (Berivan) exemplified revolutionary ways of being a woman and became role models that shaped society. They gave many other women the courage to break with traditional expectations, organize themselves and become part of the freedom movement. Numerous women from all parts of society also talk about their experiences in exchanges with Abdullah Öcalan in the 1980s and 1990s. They talk about how much importance he placed on women educating themselves, speaking out, sharing their knowledge, developing a strong consciousness and a free attitude. In the central party academy, too, many female comrades experienced what it was like for women to have their own spaces to educate themselves mentally and physically and to develop a revolutionary personality. During this time, men were made responsible for cooking and other reproductive tasks. The female comrades were thus to be relieved of the tasks for which they had had full responsibility in their previous family life. This has repeatedly led to disputes with male comrades. Today, reproductive tasks are shared in all academies and places of organized communal life, which has become an important principle of communal life. The continuous critical evaluation of experiences, difficulties, problems and successes in social organization and armed resistance is an inexhaustible source of knowledge and constantly opens up new paths for the further development of revolutionary organization.

Abdullah Öcalan’s analyses and assessments play a central role in the development of the autonomous organization of women as a basic principle within the freedom movement. From the first women’s committees and study groups to the founding of the Women’s Army and the Women’s Party, Öcalan supported the women’s movement in difficult times. He practiced self-criticism, criticized other male comrades and intervened at critical moments against reactionary patriarchal tendencies in the party. The experiences and analyses of the 1990s formed a sound basis for the new paradigm that Öcalan put down on paper in his defense writings on the prison island of Imrali in the early 2000s. This new paradigm is based on a deep historical analysis of patriarchy and places women’s liberation at the center. The aim is to develop free and respectful relations between the sexes as part of a democratic society in harmony with nature.

“Kuştina Zilam” and the project to transform men

The term “erkek öldürmek” (Kurdish “kuştina zilam”, meaning “killing the man”, in the sense of “killing dominant masculinity”) was coined by Abdullah Öcalan in 1996 in a conversation with Mahir Sayın, a journalist from the Turkish left. Dominant masculinity is not a biological fact, but a historical social construction that must be analyzed down to the depths of individual and social experience and history and overcome in the sense of a free shared life. The problem is not “masculinity” per se, but the dominant masculinity of patriarchy. On this basis, Öcalan formulates the sentence: “Killing the man is the basic principle of socialism. It is about killing power, one-sided domination and inequality, about killing intolerance. It is even about killing fascism, dictatorship and despotism. This concept can be defined so broadly.”

What does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a woman?

Simone de Beauvoir wrote the famous sentence in the mid-twentieth century: “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.” Öcalan, for his part, emphasizes the patriarchal construction of masculinity, as well as the hope for change: “You are born a man of hegemonic civilization, but you can become a free man.” Hevala Rûmet Zagros, who joined the women’s guerrillas in the mountains of Kurdistan in 1992, says on the subject of “kuştina zilam”: “It’s about breaking away from dominant masculinity, from the man whose thinking and relationships are petrified, who cannot live comradeship and friendship with women. It is about the form of masculinity that is itself without self-confidence and self-awareness. The man who has little respect for men and women, but who is actually helpless himself – this man has no strength, but must be strong. He is not strong, but has to be strong so that he is listened to. In order for his wife and children to obey him, he has to be rough and crude. This masculinity must be overcome. Men base their rule on fear. The man bases his strength on this. But inside he does not believe in himself. “2 In a television program on MED TV in 1998, Öcalan said: “I hate being a man in the current system. I consider being such a man to be a great inferiority, a source of decay and great ugliness. Being with a woman in the name of such masculinity is worse for me than torture. It is not possible for me to enter such a life. “3 Elsewhere, Öcalan describes dominant masculinity philosophically as energy that has solidified into a hardened form, which no longer flows but has solidified and institutionalized itself into apparatuses of power: “In social nature, male energy takes on material form, transformed into apparatuses of power. The forms are conservative, like cooled energy in the universe. To be a hegemonic man in society means to become a form of power. “4 According to Öcalan, however, it is of great importance not to leave gender identities to patriarchal definitions, but to emphasize the necessity and possibility of setting out to become free women and men. This re-definition of gender is not only discussed theoretically in the freedom movement, but is also developed and lived in practice in life together. The basis for this is research into the historical, social and biological reality of the sexes. Being a woman and being a man is to be liberated from its patriarchal aspects and redefined in its true diversity.

Relationships, sexuality and love

Dominant masculinity is not limited to individual character traits and external features, but is linked to a patriarchal understanding of relationships, living together, family and sexuality. In his speech on 8 March 1998, Öcalan said: “If we want the liberation of women, we must criticize our social structures, which are based on the ideology of male supremacy, in the strongest possible terms. An important element of this is the family. It too is an institution of male dominance. (…) The family is the soil on which imperialist colonial systems and all forms of special warfare take root. We must face up to this and criticize it. This concept does not mean that we reject the family altogether. We reject the current state of the family.” Like many feminist movements, Öcalan criticizes patriarchal marriage as an institution based on viewing each other as property. Jealousy, control, loss of self, rape and feminicide are problems that women continue to experience all over the world. Objectification, commodification and extreme sexualization are also part of the crisis of relationships in capitalist modernity.

Öcalan criticizes what sexuality has been made into in patriarchy and its effects on society: “Existing sexuality is a power. It is an unbridled masculinity. (…) As a result, the current sexual relationship serves the male-dominated society. It has created a crude, brutal and destructive understanding of power. (…) This understanding underlies honor killings and rape culture. And as long as this understanding does not change, neither the problem of democracy nor that of freedom can be solved. “5 In this respect, Öcalan also analyzes the compensation of oppression through patriarchal sexuality: “By achieving the feeling of masculinity, the Kurdish man seems to have solved all contradictions. Especially in terms of sexuality, masculinity creates in him the feeling that he has defeated colonialism and established a state. This is a great alienation and illusion.” This obviously does not only apply to Kurdish men, but underlies the patriarchal system in various forms.
Women’s liberation and the overcoming of dominant masculinity thus goes hand in hand with the development of free relations, free co-life, between the sexes – “Hevjiyana Azad”. Öcalan writes about this in Part 5 of the Manifesto of Democratic Civilization: “We can build valuable comradeship and friendships with women to the extent that we overcome seeing women as objects of sexual attraction. The friendship and companionship with a woman that truly overcomes sexism is the most difficult. “6 The aim is to develop relationships that are not based on short-term gratification, control and possessiveness, but on the desire for freedom, love and companionship. Relationships between the sexes should not be formed primarily according to sexual urges, but should arise from the common pursuit of a free life together on free land. Only in such a context can we speak of real love. Such love does not fit within four walls, but grows as part of a wider movement for freedom. In this connection, love can attain the deep meaning that makes it such a significant theme in many cultures.

The transformation of men

The will to overcome patriarchal capitalist modernity is at the same time the search for what a free and meaningful life in harmony with nature and society can look like. Of course, it is not enough to shout a few slogans every now and then; we have to start with ourselves. Both women and men must break with the patriarchy in their own personalities and relationships. In the freedom movement, personality analyses have been carried out since the 1980s under the motto “We don’t analyze the individual, but society, not the moment, but history”. The personalities of each militant are analysed in their historical and social context in order to understand and overcome the socialized characteristics of the system. Criticism and self-criticism also play an important role. This creates an enormous amount of knowledge about the systemic imprints in society, while at the same time a collective awareness of each other is developed and problems and solutions become visible. Abdullah Öcalan demonstrates this with his own example by self-critically analyzing his life with regard to his relationship to women and the gender issue and sharing these analyses with his comrades. From the history of Kurdistan to the circumstances of his childhood; from the roles of his own authoritarian mother and reserved father to the first contradictions with patriarchy he experiences when his sister is married off for a few sacks of wheat; from the relationships in the early stages of the PKK (including his own relationship with Kesire Yildirim), to profound reflections on masculinity and women’s liberation in the freedom movement today. In 1998, in a telephone conversation with the headquarters of the Union of Free Women of Kurdistan YAJK, Öcalan said: “Perhaps men need to be liberated more than women. The degree of emancipation of a man is perhaps more difficult than that of a woman. We realize the importance of this more fully now. While women are overcoming slavery, men persistently maintain it with their conservative behavior. So while the detachment comes easily to the woman, her longing for freedom, her desire is very strong, the man continues to insist on not having to give up this dominance. He continues to insist on conservatism and on imposing himself on others. How do we overcome this? You will have to start with one or two small points on this subject yourself. There are no ready-made revolutionaries, neither women nor men. They are only created with revolution.”

Building on the Theory of Separation and the Women’s Liberation Ideology, the autonomous organization of women in the Kurdish freedom movement had an immense impact. Step by step, gender roles and relationships changed in everyday life and in the struggle. Women learned to lead guerrilla units and develop war tactics, while men learned to cook, bake bread and support each other emotionally. Relationships between women and men took on new forms and new meaning. The transformation of men was increasingly perceived as an essential part of the common struggle. Debates arose about the understanding of beauty and love. Ethics and aesthetics emerged as important concepts in the movement. The focus was on developing something new. It was a gender struggle and for the comrades an attempt to understand, to get involved and to overcome the patriarchal mentality. The women realized their potential to create change and alternatives. They defined the anti-patriarchal struggle as a struggle against a 5000-year-old system rather than against individual men. By linking concrete incidents to the roots of the problem, they addressed the essence of the problem without becoming abstract. With the imprisonment of Abdullah Öcalan, the newly founded Women’s Party began to fight not only against the attacks of the Turkish state and hegemonic forces, but also against growing patriarchal attitudes within its own movement that disregarded the will and autonomy of women. In response, the women decided to develop new methods of struggle and education among their male comrades.
The men’s training courses organized by the Free Women’s Party (PJA) in the mountains of Kurdistan from 2003 onwards were an important experience in this respect. Sinan Cûdî, one of the participants in one such training, recounts his experience: ‘At the beginning of our personality analyses, we only focused on confessing our bad characteristics as men. We emptied our insides. It was cathartic, but it was not enough to change. Then, we started to ask: What are our good sides? When a woman comrade asked me this question, I thought for half an hour but nothing reasonable came out. If you put yourself in the position of a subject, at the centre of everything, it is very difficult to answer this question. But if you see yourself as one part of life, as a connected being it becomes possible to answer. By realising and appreciating feminine social characteristics inside ourselves, it became possible to change our mentality. We tried to think, feel and create empathy like women do. The struggle continues inside of us until today. On some days I lose against the man inside of me. Then there is an emptiness. On some days the woman inside me is more in the front. Then I am organised, thoughtful, collective, more loving. I create more empathy and show solidarity. The lessons I learnt are not only for a certain place or time. The change of mentality has to continue until the day I die. The perspective [Abdullah Öcalan] has given to us is: ‘You have to kill the man not only once, but every day a thousand times.’ Through the project we learnt many things. Now we have an idea how to implement it in politics, in the military struggle, in education and in life. We want the people of our society to smile when they walk in the streets. For me a part of the project transforming the man!” Hevala Rumet Zagros, who was involved in organizing men’s education on behalf of the Women’s Party, reflects: “The most important thing is that men develop a new understanding. We need to talk to them, share our analysis and perspectives. We have to bring them closer to the history of men and masculinity. That is the first step. The second step is to be clear about what men should be like. Rêber Apo criticized us on this point. He said: You have made a revolution, but you have not developed an alternative masculinity. That is the most fundamental criticism of us. What kind of man do we want? What standards do we as women have for the development of men? Our idea of a democratic man is a socialist, freedom-loving, equality-minded man. He sees himself on an equal footing with his mother, with his friends, with his daughter, with society, with everyone.”

How is free masculinity?

In the fight against patriarchal masculinity, it is therefore very important to also look for traces of resistant and liberatory masculinity. These can be societies in which masculinity was or is lived differently, these can be men who have become role models in this respect, but also cultural testimonies or literary works that tell of liberatory masculinity. In the philosophical tradition of the Middle East, there are many traces of such masculinities. Zoroastrian philosophy, for example, is about the unity of good thinking, true speech and righteous action as a source of truth and beauty in the sense of ethical living. These values also form the basis of a free and aesthetic masculinity. Another example to which Öcalan refers is the figure of Prometheus in Greek mythology. Zeus, the patriarch of the pantheon, had usurped fire because he saw his rule challenged. Prometheus then steals fire from Zeus (and with it the power and arts of civilization) and gives it back to humanity. As punishment, Zeus chains Prometheus to the Caucasus rocks, where an eagle eats his liver every day. Prometheus resists by using his knowledge against the rule, risking exclusion and punishment. “Like Prometheus, we have said: ‘We take the power of the dominant man and transfer it to the free woman’,” says Öcalan. This means renouncing individual power and collectivizing it. The Kurdistan Freedom Movement is stealing the fire of power from the oppressive state and patriarchy and empowering women instead, thereby empowering democratic society.
In Jineolojî, as a science of women and free co-life, the question of what free masculinity can mean is also an important topic of research and education. In the letter that guerrilla fighter Hêlîn Murat wrote to the Jineolojî Committee in 2016, she shares her research and reflections on masculinity in her region, Dersim. In the letter she discusses the word “camêr” for “man”. Unlike the Kurmancî word “zilam”, “camêr” comes from “ca” – mother and “mêr” – man, meaning the mother-man who comes from a deep connection with the mother. This term is by no means derogatory, as for example “Muttersöhnchen” (“mama’s boy”) is used in the German language, but it is a compliment and is associated with qualities such as openness, generosity, courage, sensitivity or connection to the earth. This reflects a women-centered culture in which caring, responsibility and the preservation of life in balance with society and nature are the central values of civilization.

In the history of the Kurdish Freedom Movement, there are also many examples of male comrades who took steps towards changing masculinity and thus inspired other men – such as Fikrî Baygeldî, Atakan Mahir, Mazlum Tekman and many others. Internationalists such as Bager Nûjiyan (Michael Panser) also shared their thoughts on patriarchal and free masculinity. Heval Bager analyzed German masculinity in particular, in connection with liberalism, the state, the role of romantic love relationships and other social aspects. In his diaries, published in 2023, he wrote: “Perhaps gender liberation is no less an inner struggle, not only in the non-recognition of learned masculinity, but also in the discovery and development of a ‘femininity’ that has freed itself from the rigid framework.”

It is important that experiences are collectivized and that the steps of change, problems, contradictions and methods are well evaluated so that long-term changes become possible in an organized common framework. Within the framework of the Jineolojî Academy, such evaluations were shared, for example, in the article “Results of the Workshop Series: Role and Responsibility of Men in Creating the Democratic Family and Free Society” of the Jineolojî Research Center in Şehba, North and East Syria. The Andrea Wolf Institute of the Jineolojî Academy has published a booklet entitled “Killing and Transforming the Dominant Man”, which has been translated into various languages. In addition to theoretical and practical foundations, it also evaluates experiences of men’s educations in Rojava and surveys with men from the internationalist authors’ environment.
In the recently published book “Jineolojî Ders Notları” , the attitude of men in the environment of the Kurdistan Freedom Movement is evaluated in their approach to women’s liberation and the transformation of men: A first type of man does not believe in the existence of patriarchy or the need to overcome it. He is indifferent to the issue but does not speak out very openly against the women’s movement because it is not well regarded. This also includes men who do not see themselves in a position or responsibility to change, or at best pull themselves together not to hit women or swear a lot. A second type of man thinks of himself as having already changed and being free. He believes that on this basis he can easily enter into a free relationship with women. However, he also thinks that many women have not yet reached his level of consciousness and freedom and are therefore inferior to him. This type of man cheats himself and covertly reproduces the patriarchy. A third type of man is interested in changing his masculinity, but is afraid to really change. He fears being ridiculed by other men, excluded or seen as an appendage of women. A fourth type of man feels strongly attracted to the environment of women and flees from the environment of men. He tends to distance himself individually from the patriarchy and liberate himself by orienting himself towards and identifying with women’s culture. However, he does not use his identity as a man to fight with other men against patriarchal images of men and to liberate himself on a collective basis. Another type of man really questions himself and other men in terms of the ideology of women’s liberation and tries to fight the collective battle between dominant masculinity and free masculinity as part of the revolution with sensitivity and responsibility.

Overcoming patriarchy is a long path and the transformation of men requires transformation of society as a whole. Killing dominant masculinity is linked to changing life – how we organize ourselves as a society, how and with whom we live together, how economy is organized, how children grow up with us, how we make political decisions, what we believe, how we love, how we fight. And as Hevala Rûmet Zagros says: “For this, we as women must also become clear about what we want. What kind of woman am I? What do I want as a freedom-loving person? Rêber Apo says: “The strongest system for the ‘transformation of men’ is women’s organization. Men change through women. This is the fight for the man.” While men cannot run away from their great responsibility of change in terms of gender liberation, women must also give up their complicity with patriarchy. As long as the fundamental importance of autonomous women’s organization is not shared, patriarchal conditions cannot be overcome. As long as there are no alternative, collective, loving, militant and organized connections between women, patriarchy will continue to deepen social divisions.

A profound transformation of men requires historical consciousness and contemporary analysis of social conditions. It requires ideological depth, openness and the will to change. It requires long-term joint organization and shared life, in which reflection, criticism and self-criticism can take place on the basis of shared values. And above all, it also requires a deep knowledge and feeling that women’s revolution also means the liberation of men from patriarchy. If men really understand that overcoming patriarchy does not just mean losing flimsy advantages in the system, but opens the way for new, free forms of masculinity, new dimensions of life and meaningful relationships will open up for them. When they know so much that they truly reject the system of oppression, when they feel love for the women’s revolution and joy at the progress of others in terms of freedom, instead of seeing it as an attack on their own power, the way opens up for them to become beautiful men.

1 Abdullah Öcalan, quoted in: Sayın, M.: Abdullah Öcalan ne diyor? Erkeği Öldürmek; Toprak Publications, 1997
2 Rumet Zagros, quoted in: Herausgeber_innenkollektiv des Andrea Wolf Instituts: Wir wissen was wir wollen. Frauenrevolution in Nord- und Ostsyrien, edition assemblage, 2020: p.218 ff.
3 Abdullah Öcalan on MED TV: ‘Sosyal Devrim ve Yeni Yaşam’ [Social Revolution and New Life]; 26.02.1998
4 Abdullah Öcalan, 18 Şubat 2004 Tarihli Görüşme Notu
5 Abdullah Öcalan: Hevdîtin 4.1.2007
6 Abdullah Öcalan: Manifesto of Democratic Civilization, Volume 5: Chapter 5.C.4 “Demokratik Ulusta Özgür Eş Yaşam”, 2010
7 Quote from a telephone conversation between Abdullah Öcalan and the YAJK headquarters on April 11, 1998
8 Interview with Sînan Cudî, 2018, quoted in: Andrea Wolf Institute of the Jineolojî Academy: Killing and transforming the dominant man.
9 Rumet Zagros, quoted in: Herausgeber_innenkollektiv des Andrea Wolf Instituts: Wir wissen was wir wollen. Frauenrevolution in Nord- und Ostsyrien, edition assemblage, 2020: p.218 ff.
10 Michael Panser – Xelîl Viyan – Bager Nûjiyan: Werde, der du bist. Tagebücher, Notizen und Briefe eines Internationalisten. Unrast Verlag 2023
11 See: https://jineoloji.eu/en/2022/09/13/open-letter-on-the-outcome-of-social-forum-role-and-responsibilities-of-the-man-in-creating-a-democratic-family-and-free-society/
12 To download in English: https://jineoloji.eu/en/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/Killing-and-Transforming-the-dominant-man-booklet-en-compressed_compressed-1.pdf
13 Zozan Sima: Jineolojî Ders Notları. Jîngeh 2023